November 11, 2004

Well, on the message boards I have been visiting I found out one of our members plans to take her life. I sincerely hopes shes reconsiders as she has a wonderful talent and is a wonderful person herself.

It is somewhat disheartening that this disease can get so unbearable sometimes that you feel the only way out is to leave this life completely. I've always felt it was a very selfish thing to do. It not only hurts those who loved you for who you are and tried to help you, but it is basically just running away from yourself and who you are. I barely know this person, yet my heart is breaking for her.

There have been fleeting moments where I have wondered what it would be like to try something like that. Not because I ever felt like doing it myself, but because I want to try to understand what brings a person to that point. The thought of doing such a thing as taking your own life has always been frightening to me. The pain that a person goes through to get to that point and the pain they must feel if it doesn't succeed. I am not a very religious person, but I do believe that taking your own life is an unforgiveable sin and in doing so, you are not actually solving anything or getting away from anything. You are putting yourself back into the same situation, just in another plane of reality.

I wish there were more I could do for you Sarah. I wish there was another choice I could offer you. However, I barely know you and have no knowledge of your life or what you need. I just hope against hope that you change your mind and find the help that you need. You are a talented and very gifted person. Your words in your poetry have touched the hearts of many here and anywhere you have allowed your work to be read. Please know that your family loves you, your friends love you, I love you, and those on the boards love you very much. Friends dont look for you to be a friend forever, we merely ask that you try, and we wish that you try as long as you can. Please know if you need a kind shoulder to cry on or just a friendly ear to listen, I am here for you.

Sincerely,
Alicia